'Before The Perfumed Garden took control of the wilderness I optimistically called a garden, it was a haven for weeds, a paradise for slugs and heaven on earth for all kinds of creepy crawlies too sinister to mention. Now, it has become a landscape of sheer relaxation and satisfaction, so inviting, in fact, that my mother-in-law likes nothing better than to watch the sun go down while reclining in comfort on my magnificent lawn. It's probably not a fair exchange, but unlike the slugs, at least, she lives abroad.'

RMC, Barrington